The toxic button pusher. You know who I’m talking about. That toxic person brazen enough to reveal the most private things about you in front of everyone. You long to speak up but fear of creating a backlash keeps you silent.
The toxic button pusher likes to stir things up. Seeing you squirm or catching you off guard gives her great pleasure. One day you show up at work feeling warm and fuzzy. A few seconds after coming in contact with her you’re reeling , feeling exposed and humiliated. Don’t waste time trying to figure out what happened. Her motivation isn’t important. Just know she’ll do it again.
Button, button. Who’s got the button?
The toxic button pusher is cunning. She can come up with endless ways to humiliate you, exposing your most sensitive areas. Luckily for you, she can only push your buttons if she can find them. Give her a chase.
1) Hide your buttons
She relishes knowing your likes and dislikes. She’ll secretly gather embarrassing bits of information about you, only to ruthlessly expose them in public , when you least expect it. Go stone face. Don’t let her see you sweat. Stay calm. To her, the fun is not in what she says. It’s how you react. Let her come up empty. She’ll toss that game book in the trash. Chances are she’ll move onto someone else. Someone more predictably entertaining than you
2) Erase your buttons
This takes more time but pays dividends. Devote some time identifying what your sensitivities are and why. Desensitize yourself. Develop a sense of humor about your vulnerabilities so she has no place to go. Or at the very least, reward yourself for not blinking when she’s clearly on your last nerve.
3) Share your buttons
When the TBP makes a provocative comment about you, give her a seat beside you. Admit you sometimes have trouble with your spelling, when she informs you of your error from across the room. Thank her and compliment her on her spelling ability. She is aware of her frequent errors. Her purpose was to embarrass you, not herself. Being collateral damage was not part of her plan. She’ll think twice before ambushing you again. Remember to stick and move. You’re only trying to throw her off balance temporarily. Do not poke the bear on a continuous basis unless you plan to sleep with one eye open.
4) Create your buttons
The toxic button pusher decides what button to push by slyly observing you. The more negative your reaction, the more likely she is to return to the scene of the crime. Create your own crime scene. Pretend it bugs you that she knows your work schedule even though you really don’t give a rip. While she focuses on holidays and vacations, your secret agony over your multiplying gray hair is safe. Pout a little. Act annoyed. Then go laugh in the bathroom.
The good news? If you’re dealing with a toxic button pusher, she will eventually move on to someone else. Especially if you’re no fun. You can survive in a hostile environment. Focus on the big picture. Winning in not your goal. The goal is to to create a pleasant, conflict free, work environment. We all long to have a positive supportive, workplace. However if no one else is willing to address the button pusher’s disruptive ways, it’s every man for himself. Stand strong. Stop exposing your vulnerabilities. Make finding your buttons strenuous work.
Any button pushers in your work environment?
What strategies have worked for you?
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