5 Stages of Grief
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Last Sunday was heartbreaking. Our team came this close to winning the Super Bowl but it was not meant to be. It all came down to one play. Instead of celebrating and dancing in the streets, I was left stunned with a huge rock in my stomach. I lost the will to do anything. Not that I didn’t try. I fell asleep watching a comedy. I woke up an hour later with the rock still in my stomach and no memory of laughing at any time during the movie. I couldn’t write. I tried to jot down my thoughts but filled the page with a list of my emotions. Pain. Depression. Resentment. Deflated…..I was in the House of Mirrors feeling fat, skinny and wavy all at the same time.
No doubt I had the blues. However after my initial reaction, I was no longer in denial. I knew it happened. I wasn’t angry. There was no need to blame anyone. A split decision resulted in disaster. We all make decisions we regret later. Since I’m not perfect I usually don’t throw stones. If bargaining means imagining different scenarios (What if we had done…?”), I didn’t spend a lot of time there either. Imagining a different outcome only made me feel worse. For the most part, Elisabeth’s stages didn’t seem to fit what I was going through. My stages looked more like this:
- Shock
- Depression
- Acceptance
- Avoiding the Over Dramatic
- Media Blackout
The busted play shocked me. I continue to have moments of feeling down. I go back and forth with the acceptance. Although I admit to enjoying the occasional Drama Queen, hearing someone go on and on about their heartbreak is not helpful to me. I am not Henny Penny and the sky is not falling. I can do without the TV analysts who continually dissect the play. I’m choosey about Facebook posts and Twitter feeds and am proud to say it’s getting better. At times I ricochet between the stages. Sometimes I experience multiple stages at the same time. But I’m still standing. I understand and agree with the Head Coach, it’s just football. It’s not life or death. It doesn’t pay my bills or clean my house. It’s entertainment. That said, the whole season was thrilling and worth all the pain I feel right now. Next season when the team takes the field I’ll be there. As into it as ever. Go Hawks!
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